Why do gender nonconformity and autism commonly co-occur?

We now know through multiple research and anecdotal accounts that many people on the autism spectrum also identify as transgender or gender nonconforming. The same can be said for the reverse, that many gender nonconforming individuals identify with traits of autism. Why is this?

Based on anecdotal accounts, we can speculate about potential connections. All of this information is gathered from these accounts, and it is important to note that we cannot speak for any one autistic individual, or the entire autism spectrum community.

In the DSM-5, half of the criteria for autism spectrum disorder surrounds deficits in social communication. Some autistic individuals describe this experience as lacking the innate social cues, scripts, and maps that non-autistic people seem to have. Because of this, there is a separation from needing to “fit” social rules. This can create what some people describe as an “apathy” towards gender, or not needing or caring to fit with societal rules around the construct of gender. 

The lack of innate social rules also relates to the experience of not needing to fit nicely into boxes and labels, which may allow autistic individuals to consider that gender also does not need to fit into a box or category. I noticed a common experience around those who discovered autism and gender nonconformity at the same time. The common thread here seems to be that labeling autism allows an autistic person to stop masking to fit in socially. When they unmask autism, it allows for their gender expression and identity to be “unmasked” as well.

A final observation is around the shared autistic experience of poor interoception. This signifies that people on the autism spectrum may in general feel less connected to their body, have a hard time with spacial awareness, or have difficulty recognizing what is happening in their body. I wonder if this could be a contributing factor. If someone feels less connected to their body, they might feel less congruence with gender and the experience of feeling as though their body belongs to them.

They might also feel like they don’t need to identify with their physical body as much as others may feel this need, thus gender and sex may not feel aligned, or it's less important that gender and sex feel aligned, contributing to the sense of gender “apathy”.